if you compliment me once i’ll think about it every night for twelve years
|—||Bossman (via goghst)|
Now, Harry, you must know all about Muggles…
the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter
Madam Pomfrey banning the drinking game the very next day, after 90% of Slytherin house is admitted to the hospital wing with…
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
the size of my thighs makes me so sad
my anaconda don’t
Sterek AU: Derek tries to keep Stiles out of danger but Stiles refuses in worry over Derek.
"No, I made my decision! I’m coming with you, Derek," he said firlmy and Derek sighed. "I’m not some helpless moron that needs rescuing all the time!"
"I never said that you were."
"Then stop leaving me behind or keeping me out of everything!"
"I’m not losing you Stiles!"
"Well, neither am I!" he yelled as their voices echoed in the suddenly quiet room. The pair held each other’s gaze while their friends watched in shock at the sudden shouts of declarations.
okay im going to watch frozen
um okay why doesnt anyone have ear holes
wheres the hole
the budget for this movie was $150 million and i didnt even see a single ear hole. where was the money going????
blowjobs makes your day but anal makes your hole weak
Feminism is knowing that you don’t have to wear things to impress a man
Feminism is also knowing that it’s okay to wear things to impress a man if you want to
Society forgets the first part, tumblr forgets the second part
there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me
it’s called the throne
the vampire diaries | text posts
unhealthy you say? the apple i ate when i was 7 years old begs to differ